When Co-Parents Clash: How Exes Should Handle Debates on Vacation & Vaccination Plans

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When Co-Parents Clash: The Vaccine and Vacation Debate

Traveling to the beach is all about sun, sand, and fun — but for divorced parents, planning the summer is no vacation when there are differing views on COVID-19 vaccinations and travel during the pandemic. 

Co-parents with clashing views may find themselves in a deadlock once a coronavirus vaccine is approved for children under 16. For co-parents with a 16 or 17-year-old, they are already in the thick of the debate. Plus, there is the current battle over whether the kids should go on a summer vacation and be in close contact with friends or family members who haven’t been vaccinated. And what about the new variants spreading rapidly across the country? 

The Big Questions 

“If divorced parents don’t share the same views on these hot topics, it is important to try to find common ground, even when it may be challenging,” says Alan Plevy, family law attorney at SmolenPlevy. “For instance, a compromise could be changing destinations from a crowded beach and instead going to a lake where there are fewer people.” 

Vaccinations: do we or don’t we?

Decisions about vaccinations depend on the type of child custody established by the court or your custody agreement. Plevy explains, “Parents with sole legal custody have the exclusive right to make that decision for a child under 18. For joint legal custody, parents must share the decision-making authority and come to a mutual agreement regarding matters involving the child’s health. However, an unresolvable debate over vaccinations may require judicial resolution.” Legal assistance can be through a mediator to help the co-parents respectfully reach a resolution or through a judge’s ruling in court. 

Vacations: can we or can’t we?

But don’t expect to take your ex-spouse to court over vacation or travel plans. “With vacations, the schedule is normally written into the custody order and should be followed no matter the state of the pandemic,” says Kyung (Kathryn) Dickerson, family law attorney at SmolenPlevy. If the court order allows them to travel with the kids, it’s within their right– even if you aren’t comfortable with travel during the pandemic.

Tips for handling disagreements

“During this time, parents need to work together. While there are court orders that need to be followed, this is a unique time, and maintaining patience and understanding during joint decision-making is key,” says Dickerson. She has the following tips for how to handle disagreements when planning a vacation during the pandemic:

  • Assess Your Child’s Risk Level – “The most important thing to keep in mind is you want to maintain the child’s safety,” says Dickerson. Check with their primary care physician and review local and destination guidelines before booking a trip.
  • Start Communicating: – Now is the time for people to start thinking about summer custody and vacation plans. However, before making any decisions that stray from the custody schedule, it is best to get guidance before you act. A family law attorney can help you through the process of working with your ex-spouse on these sudden changes. Correcting your custody arrangement later on is a lot more challenging. 
  • Set Vacation Expectations – When vacation plans are agreed upon, communicate with your co-parent about standards you both want to be maintained on the trip, including modes of transportation, mask-wearing, and social distancing. Creating a plan ahead of time that includes any pandemic-related details will help avoid confusion or an argument.

Each family will encounter a different set of circumstances regarding vacations and vaccinations. It is essential to consider your individual child when making joint decisions. Maintaining flexibility and open lines of communication are necessary for co-parents as they navigate another summer vacation season during a global pandemic and the imminent vaccination debate.

When to speak with an attorney

If you have questions about how to navigate child custody disagreements during the COVID-19 pandemic, please contact Alan Plevy at abplevy@smolenplevy.com or Kyung (Kathryn) Dickerson at kndickerson@smolenplevy.com.


About the Authors

Attorney Alan Plevy

Alan Plevy

Alan Plevy is a recognized force in family law, mediation and litigation, with more than 40 years as one of the most experienced divorce lawyers in Virginia. Mr. Plevy is known for being a tenacious litigator and negotiator who is zealously devoted to his clients. A top legal publication, Virginia Lawyer Weekly, noted Mr. Plevy’s impact on the law when it named two cases he litigated among its Top Five Landmark Family Law Cases in Virginia. Those two cases, which date back to the 1980s, are still regularly cited by attorneys and courts.

Attorney Kyung (Kathryn) Dickerson

Kyung (Kathryn) Dickerson

Kyung (Kathryn) Dickerson is a principal at SmolenPlevy in Vienna, Virginia. She is a graduate of the University of Virginia and George Mason University School of Law, where she served on the Board of Editors for the Journal of International Legal Studies. Ms. Dickerson is also presently General Counsel for the Asian Pacific American Bar Association of Virginia and has served as President of the organization and on its Board of Directors. She has also served on the Board of Directors of the Virginia Women Attorneys Association and served as its President. She has served on numerous committees of the Fairfax Bar Association and as President of its Young Lawyers Section and as Co-Chair of the Revenue Development Committee.