Although engagements are typically a time of joy and associated with new beginnings, some engagements come to an unforeseen end. When this happens, a major question on everyone’s mind is “who will get the engagement ring?” The answer is not black and white, explains SmolenPlevy Family Law Attorneys Alan Plevy and Kyung (Kathryn) Dickerson. States vary in their decisions when it comes to engagement rings and how they are viewed. Should you be in a position where your engagement has ended and you want to know what your legal rights are, Plevy and Dickerson suggest seeking legal advice.
Is an engagement ring a gift?
Most people consider an engagement ring to be a gift and, once given, the recipient can do with it what she or he wishes. A minority of states agree and consider the ring an unconditional gift. If either person breaks off the engagement, the woman gets to keep the ring.
A few jurisdictions take a slightly different view, calling the ring an “implied gift.” In this case, ownership of the ring is determined by whomever calls off the wedding. If the giver breaks it off, he or she is not entitled to the ring, and it becomes a gift. If the receiver breaks off the engagement, he can ask for the ring back.
Most states, however, view an engagement ring as a semi-contract, or a “conditional gift.” In this view, the ring is given with the understanding that the couple will get married in the future and symbolizes a verbal contract. Ownership of the ring is not fully transferred until the wedding ceremony is completed.
The common view says that it doesn’t matter who did or said what. If the agreement to wed is broken off, ownership of the ring returns to the giver. The reasoning tends to be that, if divorce, even after decades of marriage, can be no-fault, a broken engagement should be as well.
Virginia state law on engagement rings
In Virginia, the state’s Supreme Court ruled in December 2016 that the engagement ring is a conditional gift, and should be returned to the giver. It stems from a 2012 case in which Ethan Dockendorf proposed to his fiancee, Julia McGrath, with a two-carat ring worth about $26,000.
Dockendorf broke off the engagement a year later, but McGrath kept the ring. Dockendorf sued McGrath, and won when the Fairfax County Circuit Court ordered McGrath to either return it or pay her ex the $26,000 because it was a conditional gift. McGrath appealed and argued that he was prohibited from suing for the ring because of Virginia’s “heart balm” law — which blocks legal actions against suits including: breach of promise to marry, the alienation of affection and criminal conversion. McGrath lost again when the Virginia Supreme Court decided that the heart balm statute doesn’t include conditional gifts, such as an engagement ring.
Prenuptial agreements can help with engagement ring disputes
One way to avoid lengthy litigation regarding an engagement ring is to have a prenuptial or premarital agreement explaining who’s entitled to the ring if the wedding is cancelled, or if you get married but later divorce. If you do not have a prenuptial or premarital agreement and become involved in a dispute regarding the ownership of the engagement ring, please contact Alan Plevy at abplevy@smolenplevy.com or Kyung (Kathryn) Dickerson at kndickerson@smolenplevy.com.
About the Authors
Alan Plevy
Alan Plevy is a recognized force in family law, mediation and litigation, with more than 40 years as one of the most experienced divorce lawyers in Virginia. Mr. Plevy is known for being a tenacious litigator and negotiator who is zealously devoted to his clients. A top legal publication, Virginia Lawyer Weekly, noted Mr. Plevy’s impact on the law when it named two cases he litigated among its Top Five Landmark Family Law Cases in Virginia. Those two cases, which date back to the 1980s, are still regularly cited by attorneys and courts.
Kyung (Kathryn) Dickerson
Kyung (Kathryn) Dickerson is a principal at SmolenPlevy in Vienna, Virginia. She is a graduate of the University of Virginia and George Mason University School of Law, where she served on the Board of Editors for the Journal of International Legal Studies. Ms. Dickerson is also presently General Counsel for the Asian Pacific American Bar Association of Virginia and has served as President of the organization and on its Board of Directors. She has also served on the Board of Directors of the Virginia Women Attorneys Association and served as its President. She has served on numerous committees of the Fairfax Bar Association and as President of its Young Lawyers Section and as Co-Chair of the Revenue Development Committee.
